Losing someone is hard, to say the least, but losing a special loved one is like losing a part of yourself. It’s hard to describe the feeling you have when you realize you’re never going to get to see that person again. So, how do you cope and what are the stages of losing a loved one?
Stages of Greif:
There isn’t one way to grief for someone you have lost and I guess you just learn to cope as time goes on. Many years ago I read a magazine which mentioned there are five stages of grief. I thought I would share this with you…
Denial seems to always be the first emotion we feel when we lose someone we love. We always think to ourselves “This can’t be happening”, this is our brain’s defense mechanism to deal the shock and loss you have just faced.
The anger comes in waves and it can be aimed at ourselves, family, friends and even the person we lost. We know its none of the above to blame but we can’t help but feel angry about how much hurt we have inside us. When we feel guilty for feeling angry it just makes the anger worse so there is no escaping this feeling.
The normal reaction, in this case, is when we feel like we could have done something to help, such as… If only I rang the person that day, What if I was with them I could have gotten help or even I wish I had been a better person towards them.
Depression can be a tricky stage as you never know how long it is going to last. Depression comes hand in hand with mourning where we feel empty and feel that huge sense of loss. It’s ok to feel this way but if things get so bad that you have terrible thoughts please see a doctor as you may need help to reach Stage Five.
It seems far away at first but eventually, acceptance does hit. I’m not saying that things get easier because they don’t, you just find ways of coping better.
I know all too well about these stages as my family and I have had to cope with plenty. 2 months ago myself and my siblings had to say goodbye to our dad, he was only 53. Two weeks ago we lost our nana to brain cancer and once again our hearts are being ripped apart. We will always miss and love them deeply and will help each other through this horrible time in our lives.
I want to say to my siblings Lisa, Tanya, and Michael that I will always be here for you day or night and I will hold your hand and be your shoulder to cry on should you need me. Family is the key to coping in our case because we know by sticking together we can face anything.
Sleep Tight dad and Nana. Gone but never forgotten xxx